commonmanthoughts57

Embrace the Change

With the change of Administrations in America I thought I would take a lighter view at how I should prepare for such a change –

Trade in my high-powered sports car for a Prius.

Change out some of my red clothes for more blue.

Go from an Android phone to an iPhone.

Install solar panels on my roof & a wind turbine at my business

Convert all of the light bulbs in my house to LED.

Cancel my subscription to Men’s Journal and start reading Rolling Stone.

Stop watching Fox and start watching CNN.

Change from a Windows laptop to an Apple Mac

Listen to less talk radio and more music.

Change my focus at the gym from weight lifting to yoga classes.

Consider a rescue dog instead of a pure-breed, or perhaps even get a cat.

Start eating more organic foods.

Switch from coffee to Chia tea

Buy a water filter instead of bottled water

Reassess my gender status…………..or not.

Stop learning Russian and start learning Chinese.

However, the one thing that isn’t changing is that the U.S. flag is still red, white AND blue!

You know, I’ve tried to keep this blog site about favorite quotes, life experiences and relationships. The last thing we need is another political perspective, but here I am, breaking my own rules for the second time.

During campaigns I watch both political parties to see what they have to offer. The big thing this past campaign season was the promise of unity, particularly coming from now President-elect Biden. Well, here we are, a true moment of crisis, when, even though he’s not President yet, he could step in and act as the adult and stop all of this heated rhetoric coming from Congress, which is only inflaming the situation more. I remember two specific things that he said during the campaign – one, that he would be a unifying President, a President for all of the people, and two, that he was the head of the Democrat party.

So, Mr. President-elect Biden here’s your chance to show who’s in control, to show true leadership. I had hoped that you would do so, and I’m still hoping, but instead you have deferred to Congress while you focus on other matters. Well, in my humble opinion this is kind of important. It’s your first real test of whether you will be a President who at least tries to unite this country, or you’re just another politician that says nice things to get elected, and then once elected acts otherwise. We don’t need another politician at the moment, we need a leader, someone who will act decisively and with compassion. I’m hoping that leader is you.

The country is at a fever pitch, and I have never seen such political hate in my lifetime, along with so much disinformation and lack of contextual meaning. I know it’s a terrible way to have to begin your time in office, but it’s your Gerald Ford moment. I’m sure President Ford wasn’t happy about circumstances surrounding his start in office, but history has judged him kindly for being the President who started the healing process for the nation when he could have just as easily exacerbated it. I know he didn’t make a popular decision, and a very difficult one at the time, but he stepped up to the plate and he did it, and the country was better for it. Obviously this is your call, and either way, you will still be President on January 20th, so congratulations on that.

Here are some of my suggestions for ALL of our politicians involved in this current situation (not that I think any of them will heed my advice) –

Let’s not be selective in our condemnation of violence. I have spent the summer watching our cities being looted, burned, and people being murdered, and hardly a word from many of our politicians. Violence is violence, and it’s just as horrifying for someone who has a loved one slain, or for the small business owner watching their small business & livelihood being destroyed as it is watching the Capitol being attacked. All violence should be condemned, and all perpetrators of such should be charged accordingly.

Let’s not call police racist one day, and then call them heroes when YOU need them. The family of the slain Capitol police officer has asked that his death not be politicized, and I respect them for that. And they certainly have my sympathy and prayers, which I offer to all LEO’s hurt or killed in the line of duty.

I have always used the criteria for judging the political parties, that if it’s ok for one party, then it’s ok for the other. What is fair for one is fair for the other. What I’m seeing in current events is gravely concerning. Censorship has no place in America, and yet it’s happening, and with the blessing of Liberals. I would never advocate for censorship for any U.S. political party or ideology. I think history has shown us that it never ends well for anyone. I would much rather know up front where someone stands, as opposed to having them conniving in the shadows. Censorship belongs to such countries as China or Russia, never to the United States of America. Oh wait, those country’s leaders and political parties have yet to be censored in the U.S.

And to all of my family members who have at times found it necessary to meet my views with vitriol, please try to remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and if you think less of me for it, then so be it. I do not base my relationships on some political litmus test. Though I must admit, in the current environment I could easily be convinced to do so, and there is the problem, how easy it is to fall prey for such nonsense. I am however always open to thoughtful, and yes sometimes spirited political conversation, not in the hopes of changing minds, but to increase each other’s awareness, understanding, and acceptance.

So, I ask President-elect Biden, and ALL of our politicians, what does the future hold for the citizens of America? Will we be the United States of America, or will we continue our downward spiral and become the Fractured States of America? I know what our foreign adversaries are hoping for, how about we dash those hopes and start moving forward? We can’t change the past, only learn from it. We have to deal with the present while planning for the future.

Oh, I almost forgot, my title for this article posed as a question, “So, are we there yet?” I’m asking whether we’ve hit rock bottom yet, or do we still have a ways to go? So, America, are we there yet???

As always, thank you for taking the time to read my post, and I promise, no more politics here, as I think we all are at the saturation point on this topic. Looking forward to getting back to more thoughtful, if not mundane, topics. Besides, I might be censored before long! Lord have mercy!

Teddy Roosevelt quote

After these past 4 years I thought that this is a fitting quote –

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

– Teddy Roosevelt

This is also especially fitting for any small business owner who goes to work everyday and succeeds in spite of what sometimes seems like insurmountable odds. And if they should fail, then at least they tried and will never have to play the “what if” game. As we have been shown, dare to try great things. In some of your efforts you may have success, while others not so much. But in the end you will be the one to have made a difference, not the critic, and that’s what counts.

Politics…….really??!!

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I have intentionally stayed away from addressing anything political in my blog if for no other reason than it has become more divisive than usual. But it is just for that reason that I have decided it’s time to say something, even if I receive grief for it. You see, politics is part of my life, part of my job responsibilities, but it is not my whole life. Unfortunately, it has become a religion of sorts for so many people now, a religion that is divisive and mean spirited. And before you blame the other side, trust me, no political party has the corner on being holier-then-thou anymore than another!

I would like to think that we all identify as Americans first, but sadly we seem more focused on and aligned with partisan politics. Personally, I pledge allegiance to the U.S. flag, not to a political party. I used to think that the two party system was beneficial for the forging of well thought out discussions and debates, and ultimately better decisions. Sadly, it seems as though it has become an all or nothing conquest, with the ultimate goal of complete and absolute power, while vanquishing the other side. If people would focus less on the (D) or (R) next to a politician’s name and more on the individual candidate I think we would have better quality officials. My real wish is that more of us would register as an (I) Independent voter, which is someone with no political party affiliation (not to be confused with the Independence Party), but NYS laws make that difficult due to the fact that Independent voters are not allowed to vote in the primaries, unlike other States which do allow it. If however, you feel as though a certain political party association is what you want, then in my humble opinion you have a responsibility to not only let the opposing party know where they can improve, but just as important, if not more so, to hold your political party to account for their actions, or lack thereof. I have done this myself on many occasions, and I can honestly say that I was not ostracized for speaking my mind. If your political party cannot stand constructive criticism from within, then perhaps you should look for another party.

I think what saddens me the most is that more times than not people don’t want to hear anything that doesn’t fit with their narrative. And should someone present them with some piece of evidence or a study that should challenge that narrative, then they lash out at that person and then strive to discredit any and all information as well as its author, that doesn’t fit their perception of the situation. Not only does this sadden me, I also fear it is most dangerous for the future of our country. If we are unwilling to look at or consider information, ideas or opinions that are outside of our comfort zone, then how do we truly expect to improve the country’s current situation? Sometimes I will review political comments made online at various news outlets, and I am shocked at how mean and cutthroat people can be. Is this what we want to become as a nation?

I truly try to make an effort to listen to both sides, and I will admit, I’m not always great at it, but at least I make an effort. I have come to the conclusion that people would prefer their news source give them affirmation of their beliefs instead of all the information that will help them to use their own intellect to reach a logical conclusion. To quote Henry David Thoreau –

“Think for yourself, or others will think for you without thinking of you.”

And guess what, it’s ok to disagree with someone on any given issue. That is why we have the art of compromise.

I have never recommended that someone NOT watch, listen or read a particular news outlet or commentary. If anything, I always recommend that you watch & listen to as many as possible in order to be an informed voter. As I have found out over the years, the devil is always in the details.

Lately it’s seems as though if you’re not disparaging the U.S., its leaders, political body and history then you’re tone deaf, racist, etc. I know that the United States is not perfect, nor has it ever been, nor will it ever be. What I do know is that it has provided opportunity for millions of people since its founding, as well as a level of prosperity for its citizens that has more often than not improved with each new generation.

Have there been problems along the way, and past sins that need to be rectified? Absolutely! But here’s the thing, this country continues to do just that, work towards rectifying the sins of the past while also addressing the needs of the future. Now, I’m not saying that it’s happening as fast as anyone would like, but unlike so many other countries, it is happening, and via the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, we have the necessary tools to make it happen.

So I guess all I’m saying is let’s stop all of the shouting at and disparaging of one another, and lets start listening to one another. And lets not only listen to those with which we agree, but more importantly, lets talk with and listen to those who may have something else to say, that just might, maybe, possibly enlighten us and make us a better citizen and a more informed voter.

As Jesus said, “the poor will always be with us”. That doesn’t mean that we should accept it or ignore it, but we should continue to strive to eradicate it, or at the very least minimize it to the best of our ability. And this is how I view racism. As much as I would like to see it eradicated, knowing the human condition as it is, that may never happen, but that doesn’t mean we should accept it either. I believe the United States will continue to improve race relations and with God’s guidance make racism the exception and not the rule.

US_Flag_sunset2

Here’s an illustration of perspective. When you look at the above picture of the U.S. flag what do you see? Do you see a symbol of oppression, a flag falling to the ground as the sun sets on its promise and glory, or…………………………………………………..…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

do you see what I see? I see a flag pole that’s pointed left, thus recognizing our liberal values, while the flag itself is flowing right, signifying our conservative values, both perspectives creating a tension that keeps them in balance with one another, all while the sun is signifying the start of a new and promising day.

I pray that all of this turmoil will lead to a new day for our country where we accept and respect one another, and go on to achieve great things for all of our citizens.

So, no matter your political affiliation or views, I wish you all the best that this country has to offer. And as always, thank you for reading.

Ralph Waldo Emerson on Success

“To laugh often and love much:
To win respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give one’s self;
To leave the world a little better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch,
Or redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm
And sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived…
This is to have succeeded. ” -Emerson

This quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson is one of the first quotes that I ever remember having struck a chord with me. You see, early on in life I thought that success was measured by your position in life, your career path, the money you made, and by the material possessions that you owned.
How strange I thought that Emerson didn’t reference any of those markers of success in his quote. And then I read it again and this time I let the words slowly settle in my mind, letting the weight of their meaning weigh on my preconceived notion of what success is. I began to contemplate success as something that is measured differently depending on one’s perspective.

Now, I would like to say that I had a “divine revelation” moment, but I did not. Instead, Emerson’s quote stayed in the back of my mind as I pursued what I thought success meant. However, periodically I would run across Emerson’s quote, whether it was in a college course, on a gift store plaque or inscribed on a coffee mug given to me as a gift from a friend decades ago, which I still have. And each time Emerson’s quote crossed my path I would reconsider his meaning of and perspective on success, and then I would proceed to pursue what I perceived as my goals & measure of success.

You see, I had difficulty relating to such an altruistic perspective of success. How could this be, as none of what Emerson references is readily visible, and let’s be honest, most people like their success in life to be easily seen & acknowledged by others.

It was not until I met my wife that Emerson’s words began to make sense to me. And again, this did not happen right away, but was more like a slow awakening. In hindsight, I look at Emerson’s work and it’s as if he was leading me to her and then asked me to watch, listen and learn from her example.

And so I did, and much of the time not realizing at the moment what I was experiencing and learning. You see, Kate does not seek recognition, and she shies away from being the center of attention. She would much rather go about her work while staying in the background and hoping all the while that no one notices.

Kate is a naturally cheerful person who does laugh often, and exudes love to all her family and friends. And after attending many of her office functions and listening to her on the phone with her peers & supervisors, I can attest to the fact that she has truly won the respect of intelligent people.

And if you ever have the opportunity to see Kate with children, especially with our nieces, nephews and their children, the outpouring of affection towards Kate is undeniable.

To be honest, Kate has few critics that I know of, and what criticism I have heard is usually blunted by their acknowledgment of her good intent and desire to help. Kate has endured betrayal, and yet she does not dwell on it, but instead chooses to focus on humanity’s better traits.

And not only does she appreciate beauty, she sees it first & foremost in most everything, and shares what she sees with others. And she has always found the best in others, and continues to do so even when someone may decide to act otherwise.

I have known a lot of charitable people over the years, but I have never met anyone who can match Kate when it comes to giving of one’s self. She does it without hesitation, fully, and completely.

I hope & pray that Kate still has many years to go in this life, but if God called her home tomorrow she can rest assured in the fact that the world is a little better because of her. And even though we were never blessed with children of our own, she has nursed sick children, and has helped many children over the years to lead happy & healthy lives.

She has served on the Board of a day care center, working to bring quality & affordable child care to working parents. She has worked on numerous charity committees over the years that have helped the homeless, veterans, and so many others that have difficult social conditions. Last, but certainly not least, she donates blood whenever she can.

And ask any of our nieces and nephews about the enthusiasm that she brings to playtime and her laugh. I have had more people tell me how much they love to hear her laugh, and I couldn’t agree more. And I’m sure that I’m probably the only person to have heard her sing with exultation, due to the fact that I walked into the house unexpectedly one day to hear her singing away, and quite beautifully I might add.

So many more than one life has breathed easier because she has lived………so yes, she has become my living & breathing example of success, of Emerson’s above poem. I thank God for helping me to redefine success by my wife’s example, and though I may never live up to the example that she has shown, I do know that she makes me want to be a better man. What Emerson embodied in verse, Kate has brought to life by example. And I thank both of them for being with me during life’s journey.

Thank you for reading, and wishing you much success in your life and your career.

Nat’l Crayon Day-updated 04/15

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(04/15/20)-This blog inspired my wife to pull out her colored pencils and color one of her coloring pad pictures. Way to go honey! (see end of blog)

I just found out that today, and every March 31st is National Crayon Day….who knew??!!

So with that I thought I would make some brief observations about crayons.

As a child I can remember the different size boxes of crayons, and how awesome it was to get the BIG box of Crayola crayons! If I remember correctly I think it had 96 crayons in it. It came with a crayon sharpener, and you would peel the paper on the crayon as it got shorter.

One time I remember my mother taking one of my coloring books and coloring in one of the pages. The colors and shading were awesome, and she drew crayon lines around the border of each color she was using. I remember thinking how great it looked when she was done and from that day forward I never drew outside of the lines, and always highlighted the borders of the image with the color I was using.

When Kate and I were newly married I remember coming home from work and Kate had some new coloring books and crayons on the living room table and I asked her if she purchased those for our nieces and nephews. To my surprise she meekly replied “no, I bought them for me.” And so I began to realize that sometimes adults like to reconnect with their childhood via coloring, and with my wife being a bit of an artist who works with different mediums I shouldn’t have been surprised in the least.

So how can we celebrate National Crayon Day during these unprecedented times? Well, if you’re working from home you could try taking notes with a crayon, or perhaps doodling with a crayon while tele-conferencing or watching a webinar. If you’re home schooling have the children select a picture from their coloring book and have them be creative with the colors they choose. Or perhaps with older children you could have them choose a picture from a magazine and see if they could do a crayon rendition of it.

52 Weeks of Crayon Ideas

The beauty of crayons is that they allow you to unleash your creative imagination and to go boldly where you’ve never gone before! Hmmm, does that sound familiar to anyone, perhaps you Star Trek fans?? Anyway, try to take a moment today and relive some of your childhood memories of coloring and of people who may have helped you color along the way.

And most importantly, do your best to use the WHOLE box of crayons, you might just surprise yourself!

Now, where did Kate put that box of crayons and coloring books??

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(Kate inspired & relaxing)

Chloe aging

Hi everyone! This is my second post after not posting in months. I apologize for that, but the Wheeler’s have been dealing with some health issues not only with ourselves, but with Chloe as well. Now that everyone seems to be doing better, I can update you on Chloe, her condition, and her shenanigans!

At the end of October Chloe had a rough weekend as she fell twice going down our stairs. The second time she took Kate with her, luckily neither of them were hurt.

So we made an appointment with the vet, and upon further examination the vet recommended a series of x-rays and blood tests, which would require us to bring Chloe back the next day, as she had to be sedated for the x-rays. The vet was concerned about bone cancer, which is prevalent in Bernese Mountain Dogs, especially ones of Chloe’s age. You see, the average life span of a BMD ranges from 7 to 9 years. When all of this was happening Chloe had turned 10 the month before.

So the next day we dropped Chloe off for her tests and went to work, nervously awaiting to hear from the doctor. That afternoon the vet called to let me know that it wasn’t bone cancer but we would have to have a serious discussion regarding Chloe’s care and treatment moving forward, as she was suffering with severe hip & joint disease, as well as advanced arthritis. Upon arrival to pick Chloe up, the doctor reviewed the x-rays with us and said it was one of the worst cases she had ever seen and that this would be the reason that we would eventually have to put her down. When I asked the doctor how long she thought Chloe had she replied it was probably a matter of months.

Not wanting Chloe to suffer, we asked what our options were. The vet mentioned increased pain medicines, including a special shot that helps with the joints, as well as laser therapy. The laser therapy is sold in a package of 8 treatments, and the special shot is charged each time it is administered. Now, I’m not even going to address the cost of all of this, but I will tell you this, we have a Visa credit card and apparently we’re not afraid to use it when it comes to our Chloe! With that said, the shot was given, the laser treatment package was ordered and the first laser treatment was administered. Everyone who is in the room when Chloe receives her laser treatment is required to wear a special pair of goggles that shield your eyes in case you accidently look at the laser. The goggle requirement pertains to Chloe as well, and I must say, she handled it magnificently!

(Chloe prepped & ready for her 1st laser treatment)

It wasn’t long before we saw an improvement in Chloe’s movements and activity. Needless to say she has been receiving the royal treatment from both Kate and I, and we’re happy for each and every day that we have with her.

Due to Chloe’s difficulty with the stairs, when we’re not home we moved her gate from the upper level of the house to the lower level so we didn’t have to worry about her falling again. Just a little background, we have used that gate for years and Chloe has never moved or toppled it. A while ago she did figure out how to open the gate door, so we started placing a chair in front of the gate so she couldn’t do that. When we moved the gate downstairs we didn’t think we had to use the chair anymore as the stair tread blocked the gate door from opening too far.

Now, fast forward to a week ago Friday. I was working late and Kate had to run some errands, so as usual, Chloe was gated on the lower level with water and a snack to wait until one of us came home. Kate comes home, Chloe greets her as usual, Kate lets her out to do her business, and when they come back in Kate notices that the gate is moved slightly, but it doesn’t look as though Chloe could fit thru.

However, when Kate goes upstairs she finds a butter knife on the kitchen floor, and when she looks on the island top she notices that a stick of butter is missing. Chloe ate the butter as well as its wrapper! Usually that would be it, as we try not to leave too much of anything edible out, just for that reason. Imagine Kate’s shock when she goes into the living room to discover that Chloe found a box of liquor filled chocolates that I received as a gift. Not only did Chloe eat most of the chocolates, she also ate the foil that they were wrapped in, as well as the box that the chocolates were packaged in!!

Anyone who owns a dog knows that chocolate is very toxic for dogs, and normally Kate would have induced Chloe to vomit at home, but due to the fact that this was the first time Chloe has had alcohol, and with the pain meds that she’s on, Kate decided that an emergency vet visit was in order. So, she loads Chloe in the car, rushes to the vet’s office where they proceed to induce vomiting, and then give her something to settle her stomach. (Chloe, not Kate….lol). They send her home with orders that we keep an eye on her for a while, but they think she will be fine. And she was, except for the case of diarrhea that she had on the way home in Kate’s 6-week old car! Luckily Kate had the seat cover on, so the car wasn’t soiled, but still, quite the clean up none the less. When Chloe got into the house she went to bed as she was slightly hung over and needed to sleep it off!!

(Chloe in a state of hang over)

Just so you know, that little escapade cost Kate $289.00. And why am I sharing that with you? Now fast forward to Monday, where at the end of the day Kate baked 24 shortbread cookies. Kate had to run out to meet her sister for dinner, so this time she angled the gate AND placed a chair in front of that, which we had done the day before with great results, so not to worry.

Kate called me to let me know of the situation, and asked if I could, perhaps check on Chloe via video to make sure she was being good. So I hang up with Kate, check the home video only to find Chloe already upstairs, and what did she grab, but a bag with 24 shortbread cookies, made with imported Irish butter I might add!! I quickly call Kate back, who turns around and rushes home, but too late, all of the cookies were gone, and Chloe was quite happy. Kate cleans up the crumbs, places Chloe in the back seat of her car where she has to wait while Kate finishes dinner with her sister.

Come Tuesday morning Kate takes Chloe out so she can do her usual morning business. The problem began when Chloe only went #1 and not #2. When Kate brings her inside, for the first time ever, Chloe would not eat her breakfast, nor take any of her meds. For Chloe not to eat, which has never happened, she must really be sick. So I call the vet’s office and they give her a 10:30 AM appointment. The vet examines her, gives her some medicine, and then prescribes some more medicine for us to give to Chloe, as well as some special dietary restrictions, which included white rice. Have you tried to buy white rice during this pandemic? I’ll let you in on a little secret, there’s none to be had, the rice shelves were bare and our local Chinese restaurant was closed! With all that Chloe has been ingesting of late the vet is now worried about pancreatitis! So back to keeping a close watch of her, but to be honest, by the next morning she was feeling as chipper as ever. Well, except for that case of severe diarrhea later that day while at work. Luckily I had her outside, but she got it all over her leg, hind end and tail, so I had quite the clean up before I could bring her into the office.

So, just another Chloe story, all the while looking as innocent as ever. Oh, and that second vet visit cost us another $229.00, so over $500.00 in four days! I can tell you this, Chloe has not been a cheap date from day one and it doesn’t look like she’s going to be a cheap date on her way out. She is however the center of our household and we can’t imagine a day without her. With that said, I think I’ll see if she would like one of her prescription treats! Oh, did I neglect to tell you that she’s on prescription dog food as well?! The vet calls her “our delicate flower”. I think that’s vet slang for “revenue stream”!

(Apparently not pleased with her new orthopedic bed)

(Chloe mug shot while behind bars)