commonmanthoughts57

COVID-19 Shelter in Place Tasks

Things to do while in quarantine when you’re an OCD person –

Count your rolls of toilet paper

Clean the dust from your refrigerator coils

Clean the crumb tray on your toaster

Clean under the gas burners on the stove

Make those stainless steel appliances shine

Count your rolls of toilet paper

Vacuum the bottom of cupboard drawers

Wipe down the kitchen cupboards

Have all food labels face forward

Count your rolls of toilet paper

Empty a closet, discard old items

Change out your seasonal clothes

Clean out & organize your desk drawers

Count your rolls of toilet paper

Make new playlists for your car’s flash drive

Clean out the car’s console & glove box

Count your rolls of toilet paper

Stock the beverage refrigerator

Have an adult beverage (or two)

Give your spouse a kiss

Wait for it……………….

STOP counting that damn toilet paper!

I hope I made you smile during this difficult time for us all. May you stay safe & healthy, and may this all be behind us soon!

Please feel free to comment with any suggestions for additional tasks that may keep our minds focused on something more positive! (and more fun!)

Summer vacation 2019

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Every year my wife and I take a 2 week summer vacation and we rent a cottage on Lake Ontario and open it up to all of our family and friends. This year was our 18th season of doing such, and though not everyone made it, it was a busy and fun time for us. It is our goal during this 2 week period to not only provide a fun time for all, but to also reconnect with friends & family that we don’t always have the time to do when we’re home.

There was a time when we would have between 20 & 30 people at the cottage all at once, and sometimes as many as 10 or more overnight guests. Now we rarely have that many guests at the same time. They spread their visits out over the 2 weeks which gives us more quality time with each of them.

Needless to say, there is great preparation that goes into such an endeavor, and by the time we have everything loaded into the SUV, there is only room for Kate and I. We would love to bring our dog Chloe, but the cottage owners don’t allow dogs, so off to doggie day care & boarding she goes to catch up with all of her friends! Chloe’s choice for boarding while we’re away is K-9 Kamp. If you have a dog and need either day care and/or boarding, trust me, this is the place to go!

As with most annual events, there are certain foods and traditions that have come to be expected. My wife makes a pasta dish called Rosa Marina, which I only get when we’re at camp, and then I have to share it with everyone!! She also makes a number of other food dishes, but it’s the Rosa Marina that most everyone looks for. And the last few years she started making frozen pudding shooters using various alcohol blends which have become a huge hit with all of the adults. This year she made 5 batches of shooters, which totals approximately 120 individual servings, and there were only a few servings left when it was time for us to leave. All I can say is, “I’m innocent I tell ‘ya!”.

My favorite tradition is the evening trip to the local ice cream stand, known as “The Trolley.” The crew that works there knows and respects my rule that whenever I come in with customers no one is allowed to pay but me. Many people have tried over the years, but the staff has always respected my wishes, and for that I make sure to tip them well! My other rule for The Trolley is that you can order anything you want, in any size that you want, BUT you have to eat all of it! Failure to do so will get your portion downgraded on the next visit, and as one great-niece found out, I don’t forget any infractions of that rule!!

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(One of many Trolley visits)

One other tradition we have at camp for our overnight guests is our morning wake-up song. And the official camp wake-up song is Brad Paisley’s “Spaghetti Western Swing” played at full volume!! It seems to work pretty well, thanks Brad!

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(Rise & Shine)

While at the lake, there are certain restaurants that are a must visit for Kate and I. Almost every morning we have breakfast at The Cherry Tree Inn in Henderson, love their homefries! The staff there are always friendly & welcoming, especially Colleen & Deb. Full disclaimer though, I have had one complaint over the years, and that is that their prices are too LOW!! Seriously, I don’t know how they do it at their current price points and still put out a quality breakfast, AND turn a profit! And if you have little ones with you, Colleen even has a treasure chest filled with toys that the children are allowed to pick from and take home. Where was this place when I was a child??!!

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(Colleen & Deb)

When we leave The Cherry Tree Inn we head straight to Chrissy Beanz bakery in Sackets Harbor for a mocha frappachino (with two straws) and a cinnamon stick. And yes, we do this almost every morning as well! The array of coffees, pastries, cookies and desserts are incredible, and the mocha frapp is just like Starbucks USED to make. We sit at one of the outside tables and watch the world go by as we sip our frozen drink and savor the cinnamon stick. And if you’re able to be there just when the cinnamon sticks come out of the oven, then it is truly your lucky day, as it doesn’t get any better than that! Chrissy Beanz is another small business with great staff, and we would like to thank Luke, Alyssa, Chloe and everyone else for doing such a great job during our visits this year.

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(Alyssa & Luke of Chrissy Beanz)

The gentleman that owns Chrissy Beanz cafe also owns the restaurant across the street named Tin Pan Galley. His name is Andrew Hanzlian and he has been doing a stellar job with his restaurants for decades. And to truly enjoy all that Tin Pan Galley has to offer, you have to make sure that you visit for Sunday brunch (awesome Bloody Marys & stuffed French toast), lunch (my favorite is the TPG lobster roll), and dinner (best enjoyed on a warm summer night with live music playing). You see, the restaurant has a huge outside dining patio that resembles an old English garden, and my wife and I have had some magical dinners there over the years and we go back every chance we get. And don’t forget dessert, the creme brulee is Kate’s favorite.

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(Myself, Rikki, Kate & Anne-lunch at TPG)

So, if we’re so busy restaurant hopping, what are our friends & family doing to occupy their time, not to mention how are we reconnecting with them? Well, as you will see in some of the upcoming pictures, many of them are with us as we traverse from one eatery to the next. But, while at camp we’re busy playing board games, card games, coloring, swimming, kayaking, sunbathing, and yes, you guessed it, eating!!

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(Eating while playing cards)

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(Kayaking & swimming)

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(Sunbathing 101 – Safety first (SPF 50, shaded area, proper clothing)

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(Coloring – with adult beverage duly noted)

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(Reconnecting over lunch on the shoreline)

And finally, time spent with great people over wonderful meals at some of the best restaurants you will ever visit –

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(UMAK with Meghan at Good Fellos in Sackets Harbor)

(Can anyone say The Trolley?)

(Or how about Chrissy Beanz??)

And then there’s family –

We have vacationed in a number of great places over the years, but the stretch of NYS between Southwick Beach to Sackets Harbor along Lake Ontario is the place we return to on a regular basis. That whole area has great views, small businesses, restaurants, people, recreation activities, and historic places. We hope one day to summer there when we retire, and if not, we still have a host of memories of time spent with family and friends doing what we do best, finding pieces of life’s puzzle. And if you made it to the end of this blog, as you can see, there were a LOT of pieces!!

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(Sunset from cottage shoreline)

As always, thank you for reading, and if you visited us at camp, or you’re in this blog, thank you for being a special piece of our life’s puzzle.

Life in Pieces…..of the puzzle

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(Puzzle piece created at our nephew’s wedding)

For many of us, at some point or another in your life you ask what your purpose in life is, why are you here? For most people who have children that question is answered with their first born. You realize that it’s no longer all about you, your wants and your needs. It’s now about raising a loving, caring, compassionate, and capable person. And sometimes, even with all of your best efforts, examples, teachings and sacrifices, it doesn’t always go the way you would like or had hoped for.

For those of us who were never blessed with children the answer to the question of our purpose in life is harder to answer, if not almost impossible. When I ponder that question I first view life as a puzzle, one with a lifetime of moments, experiences, relationships, trials, and tribulations that each make up a piece of life’s puzzle.

So as I progress in my blogging experience I have come to catalog my life in singular experiences, moments, and relationships, individual pieces of life’s puzzle, that when taken together as a whole begin to create a picture that is uniquely mine, while simultaneously creating a unique picture piece for those individuals with which I interact. Thus my piece of the puzzle also has a place in someone else’s puzzle of life. (At this point of the blog I’m not sure if I’m playing 3 dimensional chess or going down a rabbit hole!)

For years my wife and I focused on spending time with our parents, everything from dining out, to family gatherings and vacations. For the longest time it was the six of us and we were content with that. We knew we would have a hole in our hearts when they were gone, but we never realized what a hole would be left in our lives when they passed.

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(Parent’s Night at Rosalie’s Cucina in Skaneateles)

We also spent a lot of time with our nieces and nephews, everything from school plays, concerts & sporting events, to our annual boy’s & girl’s night vacations. And now we’re starting to experience the same with their children, our great-nieces & nephews.

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(Great-nephew James after ice cream)

The pieces of the puzzle filling in around our family are all of our friends, some of which have been with us since the beginning, while others have come and gone, filling a unique purpose at the time. I once read that friends are a gift that we give ourselves, and I could not agree more!

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(Celebrating our Anniversary with friends in Key West)

So, I can’t speak for my wife, but as I look at my purpose in life, I have realized that I’m here to add pieces not only to my life’s puzzle, but to life’s puzzle in general, and to help others fill in their puzzle where otherwise there might be missing pieces. And sometimes the pieces I create fit pretty well, where as others not so much. I don’t think life’s puzzle has smooth edged pieces which delineate the outer most pieces and provide a framework, but instead consists of smooth and jagged pieces, depending on the life experience involved.

And if there is no outer framework, how do we know where the pieces go, especially when they don’t always fit perfectly, and how do we hold them all together? For me, it’s Faith. It’s believing in a God that knows not only where the pieces will fit, but what pieces should be created in the first place. Now, I may not always agree with the creation of certain pieces of the puzzle, but I can’t see or envision the whole picture as God sees it, so I just have to have Faith that everything will come together for a reason, and as it should.

I remember questioning how it was that Chloe, our Bernese Mtn. Dog, came to be THE dog in our life, especially after years of my wife saying no to having a dog. What was it about this one dog that she said yes to? And why, after having Chloe for a year and I was ready to give up on her and give her to another family, that my wife said absolutely not, Chloe is family?

That question was answered one night at my father’s nursing home. Chloe had been there many times visiting with Dad, and so I stopped with Chloe in the car after a late night at the office because Dad was in his final days and I made a point of stopping to see him every day. Being it was so late I commanded Chloe to stay in the car while I went up to see him. Dad was having a particularly difficult & painful night, so I was there longer than usual. At one point I excused myself and told Dad that I would be right back as I had to give Chloe a break. I let Chloe out of the car, she did her business, and as we approached the car she pulled hard on her leash towards the nursing home, and refused to get back into the car. I tried to argue with her and ordered her back into the car, but instead she pulled me towards the entrance of the nursing home and would not take no for an answer. We took the elevator to the sixth floor, and when the doors opened Chloe pulled me down the hallway towards Dad’s room, and once she was thru his door she relaxed her stance, went over to his bedside and gently licked his outstretched hand. And for a few moments Dad’s pain was minimized as he stroked her fur and she returned the favor with her gentle kisses. She then laid on the floor between his bed and my chair, and stayed there until we left to go home. It was the last time Dad saw Chloe, and it was at that moment that I realized why we had this dog, and the relevance of her piece to the overall puzzle of life.

My point is, we don’t always know why certain pieces are given to us, or necessarily what to do with them, but they are there for a reason, and though we may not know what to do with them at the moment, they will eventually fit into place when & where the time presents itself.

So yes, my purpose in life is a puzzle to me, literally and figuratively. And I’m not sure that we’re ever meant to finish the puzzle, but at some point the time comes when we pass from this earth and we stop adding to it. My only hope is that in my rush to experience my pieces of life that I have not overlooked, or worse yet, lost any pieces to my puzzle, and that my pieces of life add to all of those individuals that I connect with and am blessed to know and love.

Now that I think about it, it sounds to me like I just might be playing 3 dimensional chess IN a rabbit hole with this particular blog!!

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(“Did someone say rabbit hole?”)

Irish roots

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My great-grandparents came to the U.S. from County Mayo Ireland, and though as my mother would say our heritage is “Heinz 57”, I have always seemed most connected to my Irish side of the family.

Yes, the Irish are no strangers to alcohol, but we are so much more than that. From my perspective those of Irish heritage know not only how to party, but also how to laugh, with others, and at themselves. We have our superstitions and fears, but also meet life head-on and persevere in the face of adversity. We are an emotional bunch that can shed a tear at the drop of a hat, or respond to an unkindness with a steely resolve that can chill you to your core. And when we mourn, we mourn with all of our heart and feel that loss in the deepest crevices of our heart and soul.

My Irish family has the gift of gab, and the love of music and all things entertaining and creative. Myself, I love the written word and all the power and emotion that it can convey. Ancient Irish are often times protrayed as great warriors of their time (Braveheart), but I think the Irish as a whole choose to lean more towards family, friends and the cultural offerings of life, only becoming warriors out of necessity when all that they love and hold dear are in jeopardy.

I recently ran across a YouTube video that my sister-in-law sent to me many years ago, and I still tear up when I watch it. It’s called a Traditional Irish Blessing and I thought I would share it with you as I feel it truly captures the essence of the Irish mind, heart and soul. If there is someone in your life that you cherish, and especially if they’re Irish, I hope you will share this video with them. Life is not without heartache, but luckily it’s filled with plenty of joy to help you thru those heartaches, sometimes you just need to take a moment to look for it, and when you find that joy rejoice in the moment and savor it, and let it leave a footprint in your heart and mind so that you may reflect on that moment and relive that joyous moment time and time again.

It’s a grand time to be Irish it ’tis, and I thank God for the many blessings He has given me with my Irish heritage, the most beautiful one being my wife with her smiling Irish eyes and incredible smile. And Kate, this Irish Blessing is my wish for you, now and forever.

As always, thank you for reading and may the winds of life always be at your back.

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Photo by Getty Images (image from County Mayo)

Bernese Mtn. Dog annual picnic

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(Pictured above my mother-in-law Anne with her new friend Eva)

As many of you know who read my blog, my wife and I own a Bernese Mountain Dog (BMD) named Chloe. What most people don’t know is that every June in Ithaca at Myers Park on the lake there is a BMD picnic, where the Bernese Mtn. Dog Club of the Finger Lakes ( http://www.bmdcfl.com ) hosts BMD’s and their owners. Make no mistake, this picnic is for and all about the dogs.

This is the first year that my mother-in-law attended, and by all counts I think she had a great day! And it certainly didn’t hurt that it was a picture perfect weather day. It’s always amazing to see so many Bernese Mtn. dogs assembled in one area, with each and every one of them looking magnificent! And it doesn’t hurt when one of the participants, such as 4 month old Eva, takes a liking to you. Eva was a true sweetheart of a dog, and as you can see in the above picture, she’s going to be a large one!

The attendees of the picnic are requested to bring a raffle prize, a dish to pass, and a $5.00/family admission fee. We feel that’s quite reasonable, especially for such a fun and relaxing day. Chloe starts whining as soon as we enter the park, and can’t wait to get out of the car and meet all of her new friends. She always settles down after we make the rounds to meet as many dogs and people as possible.

The picnic always includes a number of activities and competitions for the dogs and their owners. This year a few of the owners had their dog qualify for the Good Citizen certificate, and my wife even helped with the process. We decided to save ourselves the embarrassment of entering Chloe as we have not kept up with her training, and therefore she doesn’t always do as asked. And trust me, the embarrassment would have been on us, not Chloe, as all good dog owners (and dog trainers) know that a dog’s behavior is a reflection of an owner’s consistenancy, or lack thereof, with their pet.

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(Picture of Chloe competing in a previous year)

During the raffle, Kate and I won three different times, and we brought home a number of different items, including a handpainted BMD beer mug, dog treats & toys, a basket filled with five different plush BMD toys, dog picture kitchen hot pads, and a BMD magnetic bumper sticker. Probably would have been a good day to play the lottery as well!

We met a number of BMD’s at the picnic, and I have to say that the award for the largest Bernese goes to a male named Radar. A close second would have to be his son, Turbo. Both were gentle giants. But when it was time to go, one of them decided he wasn’t ready yet and as he was being led to the car he decided to dig his paws in and refused to move forward. It was quite a sight to see the owner tugging on the leash trying to get him to move forward, and as I walked by she said, “I need my husband.”, which gave me a laugh. Her husband came along, and before you knew it, both dogs were loaded in the big SUV, and off they went.

Chloe’s favorite meet turned out to be a Golden Retriver that she spotted across the green. As soon as she saw the Golden she stood up and started whining. Luckily the owner came over our way and introduced his Golden, Misty, to Chloe. They both seemed very happy to make each other’s acquaintance and had a nice visit.

When it was time to head home Kate asked if we could take the back roads as opposed to the Interstate. I’m an Interstate kind of driver, but I agree, it’s nice to take the long road home once in awhile.

My mother-in-law had been in the area a couple weeks ago attending a show, and remembered a roadside restaurant that was coming up and thought it might be nice to stop there, so we did. It’s called Bob’s BBQ, and it’s located on State Rte 281 in Homer. It was very busy, and there was a line of people waiting to be served, but the line moved quickly, and our order was filled perfectly. The food was great, and they have a great outdoor dining area that allows dogs as long as they’re on a leash, which made Chloe (and us) happy!

We finished the evening on our patio with some of my wife’s homemade strawberry shortcake, which after pie, is my favorite dessert. Kate took her mother home while I cleaned up from dessert, and then collasped on the sofa with Chloe laying next to me. It was a fun but exhausting day for both of us.

And to all of the dog lovers out there, the annual picnic is open to all dogs and their owners. So, if you would like to meet a lot of BMD’s at once, as well as dog breeders and trainers, and people who are devoted to all dogs, but especially Bernese Mountain Dogs, then I encourage you to attend next year. Who knows, you just might meet a new friend that’s up for adoption and embark on a whole new adventure together!

And when it comes to Bernese Mountain Dogs, I think a lady that I met at our garage sale a few years ago said it best. She came up our driveway and spotted Chloe in the back yard and immediately recognized her as a BMD and asked if she could meet her. Come to find out, this woman used to have a Bernese and missed it terribly. And while reminiscing about her Bernese she said something that has always stuck with me – “You love your dog, but you fall in love with a Bernese.” I can’t tell you how many strangers I have met when I have Chloe with me that can’t say enough good things about a Bernese that they had at one time or another, and what wonderful memories they made together, and how much they LOVED that dog. And if you should ask my wife, who never had a dog before Chloe, I think she would agree.

Thank you for reading, and hoping that your dog days of summer are happy ones!

Family in MD

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Before we went to Bethany Beach in Delaware, Kate and I stopped to see my Aunt Marilyn, Uncle Hank, their daughter Lisa and her family in Maryland. These are some of my favorite people and ever since they moved to MD we just don’t see enough of them! We made sure to bring them some Hoffman coneys, as they love them but can’t get them in MD. We arrived early enough on Friday that we were able to attend Lisa’s oldest daughter’s school concert, where she, as well as her other classmates, did a great job!

After the concert we all went out to dinner at a local restaurant, The Stonebridge, where Lisa reminded her son Henry to “not over order”. Apparently his eyes are usually bigger than his stomach. When we questioned Henry about this, he said that ordering lots of food was “satisfying”. Well, that gave Kate and I chuckle, and I asked his mother for permission to let him order whatever he wanted, and she agreed. And come to find out, after we had already consumed a mountain of food, Henry and I both like crab cakes, and Henry tells me that this restaurant does a great job with them, so I ordered a plate for him and I to share. They were awesome, but we were so full we could barely finish them. Luckily there was plenty of us there to share with.

My cousin Lisa has a small business in organic farming, Oak Spring Farms. She works hard, and in doing so produces some great products. When we’re in town we usually go to the local farmers’ market on Saturdays where Lisa displays and sells her latest harvest, and my wife always buys some great fruit, vegtables, cheeses & olive oil to take to DE to enjoy while sitting on our balcony.

After the visit to the farmers’ market, we went garage saling with most everyone. Lisa’s youngest, Izzy, was at a friend’s house, and Lisa was working most of the day at the farmers’ market. What I discovered is that Lisa’s other two children, Samatha and Henry, are quite the commsumate garage sale shoppers, including the ability to quickly scan each home’s offerings to determine if there was anything of value that might be of interest to them. Sam found a bag that she liked and her Grandmother made the purchase for her.

We had determined earlier in the day that we would all meet for dinner at my Aunt and Uncle’s house, and then afterwards we would go out for ice cream, my treat. We were out so long at garage sales I was worried that we would be late having dinner, which meant we might not have enough time to go for ice cream, so I made the suggestion that perhaps we should stop and have ice cream before going back home. Needless to say I didn’t get too much resistance to that idea. So that led us to the kids favorite ice cream shop, and another MD small business, Bonkeys. It is housed in an old movie theatre and has a large selection of flavors and various dishes. My one and only rule when it comes to buying ice cream is that you can have ANYTHING that you want, but you have to eat all of it! Needless to say, this was quite a fun surprise for Sam and Henry, especially being their mother was still working at the farmers’ market. (Sorry Lisa, but it was fun!)

We headed back to the house, where we had a great dinner in the screened gazebo with everyone there. And come to find out, Henry’s lacrosse team had won their game earlier in the day, which then qualified them for the championship game the next day, Sunday, which is the day that we were scheduled to leave for Delaware. We had a 3 hour drive to DE, but Lisa told me that Henry’s game was on the way and they would love for us to attend. Just to let you know, I’m not one to deviate from my travel plans, but as long as it was on the way, what the heck.

So, Sunday morning after breakfast Lisa loaded the kids in the car and headed out for the game, with the rest of us to meet them there later. We packed our things, and with my Aunt and Uncle with us, and the GPS locked & loaded, we headed for the venue. It took us an hour to get there, and we made it just before the game started. I had asked Henry before he left who the favored team was, and he confided that his team was, and that it should be a fairly easy victory. Well guess what, someone forgot to tell the other team that!! The opposition took an early lead, and at one point I thought their lead was insurmountable! But after some heart stopping goals and a big push by Henry and his team, they came from behind to win the championship!! What a great afternoon! So we stayed to congratulate the team, took some great pictures, gave hugs all around and said our good-byes.

Kate and I hop into our car, enter our DE hotel into the GPS, figuring we only had a 2 hour drive ahead of us due to the fact that Lisa told us the game was on our way, and as I mentioned earlier we had already traveled for an hour. So imagine our surprise when the GPS informs us that we had a 3 hour drive to reach our destination! Sorry Lisa, but I’m not sure that geographical travel is your forte….lol! But in the end it was all worth it, and Kate and I were so glad that we attended the game, and that they won!

We love to travel, especially when it involves seeing friends and family. But as a small business owner I also enjoy visiting small businesses of all kinds wherever we go. I know how hard these people work, and more times than not, it’s their passion that keeps them going. So please, whenever possible, try to visit at least one small business when you’re traveling, and hopefully you’ll have a great experience, and if you’re a fellow small business owner, you might even meet a kindred spirit.

To my Aunt, Uncle, cousin Lisa and her family, thank you so much for having us! As always, we had a great time and we appreciate your hospitality. And Henry, congrats again on the win! And I hope your grandmother’s phone that you and I paired to her new car has worked out that little dialing glitch…..lol!

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And to our friends and family south of MD and DE, yes I know, we’re long overdue for a visit. Missing ‘ya all, and hopefully we’ll see each other soon!

Vacation in Delaware

Delaware_vacation052219 Last month my wife and I vacationed in Bethany Beach Delaware. It’s a great area and a reasonable drive from Syracuse. Our hobby is food. My wife reads cookbooks and watches the food channel to learn new recipes and techniques. I am the official taster and sampler of her latest creations, which is one of my favorite things to do!

We arrived at the hotel late on a Sunday night, so we decided to have something to eat at the hotel’s restaurant, which has a veranda that overlooks the boardwalk and ocean. Our waiter that night was Wes, and he did a great job making menu and drink recommendations for us. Everything was great, and we thanked him for making the recommendations that he did. We charged the meal to our room and went upstairs and unpacked.

The next day was a lazy day spent at the hotel pool, and we ate all of our meals at the hotel restaurant again, and lo & behold, Wes waited on us again. We engaged in conversation with him and he mentioned a number of places that we might want to try while we were in town. We again went with some of his menu recommendations and we found everything to be great.

Come Tuesday we decide to have lunch on the veranda, and asked for Wes to be our waiter, to which the restaurant complied. By now the three of us are like old friends and enjoying each other’s company. I asked Wes if he ever takes time off from work, and he said that he rarely does, but that he was off tomorrow night. Well, one thing led to another, and the three of us made a date to go to a restaurant that he recommended that was located in Ocean City MD. We exchanged cell phone numbers and vowed to cover the details of where & when to meet the next day.

Well, as my wife and I were getting ready to leave to meet him in the hotel lobby, Kate expressed her concern that we barely knew this guy, and how did we know that we would be safe? It was a legitimate concern, one that I had but had not voiced to her. Now normally I’m the one who would never of let this happen, but Wes seemed liked a stand up guy, and had shared numerous details of his life with us, and I thought perhaps I should step out of my comfort zone. I assured Kate that all would be fine, as we were meeting him at the hotel bar, in front of numerous co-workers, so there were plenty of witnesses of who we were with should this night out go south, which by the way, we literally headed south to get to the restaurant that he suggested. Just thought I would throw that in there.

In the meantime, he’s talking with his co-workers, and come to find out, they are voicing the same concerns that Kate was! So, as we meet Wes at the restaurant bar and sat down with him to have a drink, and unbeknownst to us, we’re getting the once over by some of his co-workers. I confess to Wes that we might have had some concerns, and he tells us about his coworkers and their concerns, which gave all of us a chuckle!

The three of us leave and head toward the 1st of two restaurants that he recommended. The restaurant’s name is Liquid Assets, and it’s unique in its configuration. It has coolers along one side of the bar filled with six-packs and cases of beer. The other side of the bar has shelves filled with bottles of wine. People stop in just to buy beer or wine, while others come in for the restaurant. The bar is in the middle, between the coolers of beer and shelves of wine. We decided to have drinks and appetizers at the bar. Wes knew most of the staff there, and with that camaraderie came excellent service.

Well we started ordering drinks, and appetizers, and a number of different food items, and it all kept coming all night long. We were having such a great time at our current location that we decided to skip the second restaurant and spend the evening there. The three of us had a great time, not only with each other, but with the bar staff as well, and everyone joined in on the lively conversation. Thankfully my wife volunteered to be the designated driver so we didn’t have to call an Uber.

After Wes and I were quite inebriated the three of us decided to call it a night. Kate loaded us in the car and we headed north and dropped Wes off at his apartment. There were hugs all around and we headed back to our hotel.

The next day Wes conveyed to his co-workers what a great time was had by all, and I shared pictures of the evening with friends and family. Wes waited on us the morning that we were leaving, and he asked if we could have a picture of the three of us before we headed home and we were more than happy to comply.

In case you’re wondering where all of this is going, for me it’s quite simple. It’s never easy for me to step out of my comfort zone, but this time I did. And in doing so, Kate and I met a nice guy, that introduced us to a restaurant with awesome food, that we never would have found on our own, and even if we did, we doubt that we would have stopped in as it’s located in a strip mall. We had a fun evening with lots of laughs and made a new friend along the way.

You know, so many people never give their wait staff the time of day, much less a decent tip. I hope the next time you’re dining out that you take the time to at least learn your waiter’s name, and if time allows, maybe a little something about them. If anyone knows the best restaurants in the area they do, and more times than not they’re more than happy to share that knowledge with you. All you have to do is ask, and in doing so you let them know that they are valued not just for what they can do for you, but as a person as well.

Wishing you a summer filled with good food, good drinks, and lots of family and friends. It doesn’t get any better than that!

And Wes, we’re coming back for another bowl of those mussels!

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Jose’ Harris Quote

Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com

“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.” Jose’ N. Harris, MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love

I thought I would go back to my roots with this blog and talk about the above quote which is a recent favorite of mine, but one that I also struggle with.

I agree with the perspective that as one ages, and hopefully matures, you actively decide to cut thru all of the noise in life and those who create it. You make a conscious decision to move away from those who create & thrive on the drama, and instead focus on and surround yourself with people who are at peace with themselves and the world around them. And by doing so, you find contentment not only with time spent with them, but within yourself, as you are much more able to focus on what is truly important to you, whether it be finding or increasing your inner peace, better health & fitness, quality time spent with family & friends, prayer, strengthening your relationship with God, or just reliving fond memories of all the people who have come & gone in your life, leaving their indelible print & influence on your being.

For to truly be happy with yourself and others, you really do have to forget the bad and focus on the good. It does no one any good to harbor ill will or let resentments foster. In fact, it has been my experience that it hurts the person who is carrying these negative feelings more so than the person or persons that they’re directed toward. And lets be honest, who in life is not guilty of at one time or another of hurting another person. Certainly not me, I am as guilty as they come. The key is to recognize that you are just as guilty, if not more so at times, as the person that you resent. So, I try to atone for my actions that have caused hurt and pain to others, learn from them, and move forward.

Here’s where I struggle with Jose’ Harris’ above quote – if we only surround ourselves with people who make us laugh, and walk away from all the drama, and more importantly, those who create it, what does that say about us? Not everyone has a happy go lucky life, not most people I know anyway. And if we only surround ourself with positive people who bring us light, laughter & happiness, then does that make us shallow? For what kind of friend or family member would I be if I walk away just when they need me the most?

So for me, it’s important to realize when a person may be going thru a rough time in their life and may need a shoulder to lean on, perhaps even cry on. And to be honest, I think the deciding criteria for me as to whether to continue to have this person in my life is whether or not they add value to life in general. It may not have to be our particular relationship at the time, but I have to see that they are a good person who is capable of and does bring peace, joy and happiness to others on occasion.

As a friend, and as a family member who takes an active role in family relationships, I think it’s important not to be too quick to cut and run. But when & if the time comes to make that decision, then I feel it has to be made decisively, and only after you have truly tried your best to help this person overcome their need to create drama and to focus on the positive.

So yes, “Life is too short to be anything but happy”, but it shouldn’t be done by casting aside those that may not bring you happiness in the moment. And yes, laughing is one of the best medicines ever, and I can honestly say that I have so many family & friends that surround and fill my life with laughter that I truly consider myself a rich man. But I love them not only for what they do for me, but for who they are and what they add to the fabric of life in general, and the world as a whole. And I pray every night for those people who create the drama, and particulary for those who don’t treat me right, that God will help them to find inner peace, comfort and strength. For it is my belief that they create the drama because they are lonely, isolated and unhappy, and are unable find their way out of such darkness.

I have fallen down more times than I can count, and sometimes I fall in a hole so dark that I’m not sure if I’ll ever find my way out, but with the help God and all of the good people He has placed in my life, I always have. So I hope as I choose to walk away from all of the drama, and those who create it, that I remember to offer a helping hand to all those who want it, but more importantly, to all those who need it, and in doing so, giving them the courage to move forward as well.

In the words of one of my wife’s favorite songs – “Don’t worry, be happy!”

Thank you for reading.

Chloe-Bernese Mountain Dog

: Chloe

Chloe is our dog, and she is a Bernese (not Bermese) Mountain Dog. We adopted her on November 29th, 2009 when she was 9 weeks old.

I grew up with dogs, along with a number of different pets over the years. We had cats, gold fish, hamsters, rabbits & a couple of parakeets. You bond differently with different species of animals, but from my perspective it was always the dogs & cats that left a forever paw print on your heart and in your memory.

My wife on the other hand only had cats. She loves cats, so I gave her one for Easter the first year that we were married, and that cat, Panther, lived 15 years. And though she was a gift to my wife, Panther ended up being my cat. It was after Panther passed away that I found out that I’m allergic to cats! So, I realized that I could never have another cat, and I really wasn’t in a hurry to get another pet.

Then one Sunday Kate and I went to Staples to pick up some items. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your perspective, Staples wasn’t open yet. So Kate decided to go into the Dollar Store to look around, while I decided to play with the puppies in the pet store that was next to Staples. I had done this numerous times before, usually without Kate knowing, but I never had one of the puppies catch my interest enough to want to bring it home. But be aware, I had been asking Kate for a dog for years, to which she always replied no, no, what part of no are you not getting??!! You see, Kate never had a dog, never wanted a dog, and never liked dogs! And, I always wanted a Golden Retriever, and no other dog was going to do.

So into the pet store I go, and the store would always have a few puppies near the front window playing together that you could interact with as well. So I played with all them for awhile, but there was no Golden Retriever in the bunch, so I wandered to the rear of the store where the rest of the puppies were kenneled in glass pens. That is where I spotted a small tri-colored puppy napping. The puppy woke up, took one look at me, and walked over to the glass where I was standing to get a closer look. I tell everyone that this is when she was sizing me up with an imaginary tape measure and decided that I was big enough to handle her when she was full grown and that I would do. She then walked back to the far end of the pen, sat down, and just gave me the cutest puppy face she could muster.

Just then one of the store clerks walked by and I asked if I could take a closer look at the black puppy, and she asked, “Oh, the Bernese Mountain Dog?!” To which I simply replied, “never heard of them, but yes, that one.” The clerk retrieved the puppy and placed the two of us in a special 1/2-walled area with a door that was used for people to get familiar with the dogs. Now I might want to mention that Kate had been texting me letting me know that Staples was open and it was time to go, to which I would ignore, or would reply with, “ok, playing with one of the puppies.” I asked Kate to come into the store a few times and meet the puppy but she had no interest & refused. Well, eventually she came in, for no other reason than to drag me out, but I got her to spend a little time with the dog, and after 2 hours Kate said enough, it’s time to go, without the dog.

So off we went, and the puppy went back into her kennel. On the way home I called friends and family that already had dogs to get their perspective on dog ownership, and as much as they loved their pets they didn’t recommend that we get a dog, due to the fact that a dog does tie you down, much more than a cat does, which only bolstered Kate’s case for not getting one.

Not to be detered, once we got home I started researching Bernese Mountain Dogs, and all the pros & cons of owning one. Come to find out, they are a large breed dog, with females weighing in around 100 lbs., and males weighing up to 150 lbs. Not having owned a dog since I lived at home with my parents I couldn’t quite visualize how big of a dog that would be, but in my mind’s eye it seemed like a reasonable size. I mean really, how does that saying go, “Go big or go home”! I’m all about big!!

Later that day we had to go out to run some more errands, and after which and before going home I asked Kate if we could stop at the pet store one more time, to which she replied, “Really Michael, are you serious? I don’t want a dog! You already spent 2 hours in the store and I don’t think we need to go back there.” Well, long story short, she finally relented and we stopped back at the pet store for another look. Believe it or not, we spent another 2 hours there playing with the puppy. I even took the puppy out of the 1/2 wall enclosure and let it run around the store, and that’s when it happened! You see, during my research I found out that BMD’s are bred to be very good with children and protective of them. So, in walks a family with two small children while I’m playing with the puppy. The puppy spots the children walking down the aisle, she stops in her tracks, her ears perked up, and she went bounding over to them with great enthusiasm. At only 9 weeks old the dog recognized children! You see, my wife and I have 21 nieces & nephews, and numerous great-nieces & nephews, and it was at that moment that I realized how good she would be with all of them and I had to have her.

There was only one obstacle standing between me and the puppy, and that was Kate. So I walked over to Kate, with puppy in my arms, and after Kate saying no numerous times earlier in the day, she took one look at me holding the puppy and said, “You want the puppy don’t you?” To which I simply replied, “I do.”

Now, what you need to know at this point is that this all happened within days of my birthday, our anniversary, and Thanksgiving. Kate looked at me and said, “Fine, you can have the dog, but it’s your dog to take care of. Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary, Happy Thanksgiving………..Merry Christmas, …………Happy New Year……..” At which time I replied, “Ok, ok, I got it!! Thank you honey!!” And Kate tells everyone that we both stood there with tears in our eyes, mine were tears of joy, while Kate’s were tears of fear! Having never had a dog, Kate had no idea what to expect or what to do, and quite frankly I thought I did, but was I in for the surprise of a lifetime!

We sealed the deal with the store clerk, and Kate went about the store picking out everything in pink- leash, collar, toys and feeding bowls (much to my dismay, as I wanted a black collar & leash, but knew better than to argue at this point). And Kate even named her before we left the store, Chloe. Unbeknownst to either of us at the time, so began a life changing event of which we are still experiencing, but I can tell you this, at this point we have no regrets and hopefully still have many memories to make with Chloe, some of which I hope to share with you, as there are many!

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Kate with Chloe on adoption day – 11/29/2009

Happy Birthday Mom

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When I started this blog I didn’t expect to focus so much on my mother, her life, her passing, and her influence on my life, but to this common man my mother was a giant among women. For you see, I was born with a cleft palate and lip and my mother had to not only deal with my facial disfigurement, but my feeding & care had special requirements that she alone had to do. This forged a bond between my mother and I that was deep and lifelong. And with her passing less than a year in progress, I can’t help but focus on all of the firsts within this year.

You see, tomorrow (02/10) is her birthday, and she would have been 81 years young. On Friday when I was getting ready to shut my computer down I did my usual scan of my upcoming weekly schedule. The Sunday schedule duly noted that it was Mom’s birthday, and not that I ever needed a reminder, I always marked my calendar accordingly. And as I pondered the upcoming day I realized it was another first, her first birthday that we would celebrate without her. I knew it would be another difficult first but figured I would be able to tough my way thru it as I have all of the other previous firsts without her.

Well, color me stupid, but I decided to go thru some of her clothes and belongings tonight that we needed to donate to charity. My wife had stacked everything in a corner of the family room weeks ago for me to sort thru and give my final approval to.

Most of the items were her clothes, and I picked up her red Spring jacket and held it close to my face hoping to catch one last wift of her fragrance, of her being, but I’m afraid that had all faded since her passing on May 10th. So I neatly folded her jacket and placed it along with all of her other clothes, towels and household soft items in a bag and moved on to the box that was waiting for me.

The box contained her old phone and I held the receiver to my ear as if to hear her voice one more time, but was met with deafening silence. My mother was a talker, and she could, and did, spend hours on the phone. It felt as though I was discarding her social lifeline, but a lifeline whose time had come to a close. Knowing that the goodwill will not accept old electronics, I set the phone aside for recycling, smiling ever so slightly at the thought that with all of the hours on this phone that there was probably not much left to recycle.

I reached into the box and pulled out a leather bound book titled “Daily Inspiration For The Purpose Driven Life”. There was a red ribbon bookmark and I opened the book to the marked page. The Chapter was titled Day 6 – Life is a Temporary Assignment. There was a drawing on the page of a country scene with a tree, field, creek, and a bridge over the creek. My mother was often drawn to such pictures as they reminded her of her time growing up on the farm.

There were a number of passages from the Bible that referenced in some way the title of the chapter. The opening passage was from Psalm 39:4 NLT – Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away.

Mom however placed a small x next to the passage that best spoke to her – Philippians 3:18-20 NLT – There are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ…All they think about is this life here on earth. But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives.

On the next page Mom also placed a small x next to the following passage from 1 Corinthians 7:31 NLT – Those in frequent contact with the things of the world should make good use of them without becoming attached to them, for this world and all it contains will pass away.

As I thumbed thru the pages of the book I could see where Mom marked numerous passages that spoke to her, but the bookmark was placed where it talks about and references how short our time on this earth really is. I think Mom would periodically refer back to these passages to help keep her focused on her remaining time and how to best use it, and appreciate it.

Mom never pretended to be something that she wasn’t, but she tried her best in her later years to keep her faith strong while her health steadily declined, and her love of God front and center. She did not wear her Christianity on her sleeve, but she was never afraid to give God all of the credit for the blessings in her life.

Mom started giving away many of her material possessions much earlier than most parents, and I remember telling her that she should hold on to and enjoy her things for a while longer, but she realized what I did not, that “Those in frequent contact with the things of the world should make good use of them without becoming attached to them, for this world and all it contains will pass away.”

So, after reading the passages that my mother had marked, and with tears in my eyes, I finished packing up the belongings that my wife had set aside for me to go thru, placed them in the car, and drove them to the Rescue Mission and dropped them off. Hopefully they will bring someone else comfort, warmth and security. For me, it was one in many steps of letting go.

And the book you ask, did I place that back in the box in the hopes that it would bring inspiration and comfort to someone else? To that I answer, no I did not, as I feel that I have much to learn yet from the passages that my mother placed her small x’s next to. However, when the time comes, and I have passed from this world, I hope the book will be passed on to someone who will “make good use of ” its words and my mother’s x marks as much as she did, and hopefully I will as well.

Happy birthday Mom, and thank you for giving me such a gift as “Daily Inspiration For The Purpose Driven Life”. I think you saved the best gift for last, which doesn’t surprise me in the least.

And every night since her passing I say the following prayer – “Lord, please forgive my mother for her sins, please welcome her into the Kingdom of Heaven and grant her life everlasting. Thank you Lord, Amen.”

Love and missing you Mom, and may God bless you for all of eternity!